The Ones Who Walk Beside Them: A Look Into the Lives of Siblings: Part II

In Part One of this series, we explored the challenges that siblings of children with disabilities often face—feelings of fear, frustration, pressure to be perfect, and the quiet burden of always being the “easy one.” But as we’ve seen through running our Virtual Sibshops program, that’s only half the story.

Because right alongside those challenges are extraordinary gifts.

In fact, one of the core messages from the two-day Sibshops training I attended—and one I’ve seen firsthand in every session—is this:
Yes, our sibs carry more.
But they also become more.

They emerge with a level of empathy, resilience, and gratitude that is nothing short of remarkable. Here's what that looks like.

1. Empathy

This is, without a doubt, the number one quality that shines through.

Because they’ve lived through hard things in their own homes, these children are often the first to feel for others. Not just notice, not just care—feel with. And they do it instinctively.

During one of our sessions, we played a game with a feelings chart. The kids would roll a ball and share a story about whichever emotion it landed on. When it was one young girl’s turn, she rolled Sadness. She curled her legs up, chin on her knees, and quietly asked,
“Is it okay if I don’t share just one story, but more like…why I feel sad sometimes in general?”

After we gave her the space, she opened up:

• She felt sad that she rarely got one-on-one time with her parents.
• She felt sad when her sister couldn’t control herself and would hit their parents, even when they were trying to help.
• She felt sad watching her mom try to smile through what was clearly a very hard day.

And at the end of it all, she said:
“I feel sad for my parents because I know they’re doing their best.”

They see you.
They feel it with you.
And even in their own pain, they carry compassion for yours.

2. Resilience

These kids go through more than many adults ever will—and they still show up.

They adapt. They adjust. They learn how to navigate public meltdowns, disrupted routines, and changed plans. They’ve watched their parents juggle more than seems humanly possible, and from that, they’ve absorbed something powerful:

They’ve learned resilience by watching you.

They’ve watched you face fear, stress, exhaustion, and overwhelm—sometimes all in one day—and they’ve seen you make it through. They internalize that. They build it into their own DNA. And it shows in the way they show up, not just for their siblings, but for life.

3. Gratitude

It would be easy for them to feel bitter. To live in resentment.
But more often than not, when we ask our Sibshop kids what they’re grateful for, their answers are filled with pure, heartfelt appreciation.

Sure, sometimes it’s for a birthday gift or their favorite game. But just as often, it’s the quiet, meaningful things:

• Health.
• Time with family.
• A shared laugh with their sibling.

During one session, we asked them to recall a favorite memory—something that made them feel deeply happy. One young girl shared how her twin brother, who loves quoting movies, made her laugh one day with a perfect line. She couldn’t explain why it was her favorite memory. She just said:

“Seeing him smile and be happy makes me happy.”

If the world took a page from these kids—just a sliver of their grace, their patience, their ability to hold space for others—we’d be living in a very different world.

The way they show up in Sibshops—vulnerable, wise, open-hearted—reminds us what’s possible when we give children a safe place to be fully themselves. To speak without fear. To be celebrated for their truth.

And that’s why Sibshops is more than a program—it’s a movement.

If you think this could benefit a child or teen in your family, or if you know someone who might be a good fit and wants to trial a session, we’d love to connect.

Christine Astarita